Who is the fastest god in all mythology? - Iseult Gillespie
Welcome to another event in the Myth Olympics—the eternal arena in which creatures and deities from global mythologies compete for glory. I’m Shamash, the Mesopotamian god of judgment, and today we’re gathered to witness this year’s clash of stunning speed.
Keeping track of our racers with me is last year’s champion, Hermes—the swift-footed messenger of the Greek gods.
“Oh, I'm delighted to hang up my winged sandals today, Shamash. But I am keeping my helmet on because we are in for a wild ride!”
It’s true! Almost every mythical tradition claims one creature as the fastest of them all. From goddesses who run like the wind to creatures who outstrip every captor, mortals of all cultures are fascinated by superhuman swiftness.
“So, Hermes, who are this year’s contestants?”
“Well, the Norse gods have sent Sleipnir—son of Loki and the greatest of Asgard’s steeds. He’s usually spotted gallivanting between the realms with Odin. But today, Sleipnir is riding solo. Also competing is Raiju, the Japanese beast of thunder and lightning. When the weather’s nice, they like to nap in mortals’ belly buttons. But when clouds darken, Raiju leaps into action alongside Raijin, the Shinto god of storms. With this fearsome competitor, lightning can strike at any time. But storms don’t scare Idaten. This Buddhist deity has a record of outrunning the weather—his name is even part of the Japanese expression for ‘run like the wind.’ Idaten’s definitely got some tricks up those steel sleeves.”
“Perhaps, but our last competitor has tricks of his own. Savitar is the Hindu deity that sets everything in motion, from moving the Sun to chasing away sorrow and sickness. Yes, today’s roster contains many mythic interpretations of speed. From personifications of the unpredictable elements to creatures capable of outrunning reality itself. But perhaps the myth of speed is really about the elusive nature of all supernatural beings.”
“Those are some, uh, neat ideas, Shamash—but this race is the real deal! Our noble competitors will run the equivalent of 100 marathons through a hazardous natural obstacle course. And our racers are taking their first steps right now!”
Idaten takes the lead, but don’t let that calm exterior fool you—his determination is legendary. When a literal speed demon stole one of Buddha's teeth, he raced over mountains and rivers to capture the culprit.
“Don’t forget Sleipnir—he’s cleared hurdles in his time, too.”
“I’ll say! On his mission to retrieve Baldur the Bright from the fortress of Hel, he rode for nine days straight—clearing the gates of the underworld without breaking a sweat. They don’t call him the sliding one for nothing—he appears to slide on the wind itself!”
“Of course, wind is often personified as a sacred being that—”
“No time for a history lesson! That wind is picking up! Like the force of nature they are, Raiju brews a storm to scorch the competition.”
“It’s certainly possible. Raiju is known for their destructive storms. But they’re also our most chaotic racer, frequently crashing to earth and getting tangled in flimsy mortal nets. They’re unpredictable!”
“Chaos is often associated with mythology’s fastest creatures, from the shapeshifting Flemish Kludde who preys on travelers to the smelly Japanese spirit Nuppeppō who moves too fast to be caught.”
“True, but there are also steady agents of speed. Here comes one now! Lending his boundless energy to the Sun, Savitar breaks through Raiju’s storm! This golden-handed protector of the universe can manipulate the elements—and all moving things for that matter! A valiant effort to redirect the wind by Idaten... but not valiant enough. The path seems clear for Savitar.”
“But is that the gallop of hooves I hear? What beautiful blindside! It’s Sleipnir hurtling out of another dimension! It seems the shamanic steed shares Odin’s ability to travel between the realms. This racer might not have to play by Savitar’s rules.”
“But... wait a second, am I watching this in slow motion? No! It appears the god of motion is slowing the speed of his opponent, suspending him centimeters from the course’s conclusion. Sleipnir’s stampede slows to a snail’s pace as Savitar leisurely glides over the finish line! What a finale! Savitar’s mastery of motion immobilized his fastest foe!”
“It seems Sleipnir’s not too happy with this controversial result, but hey, there’s always next year. And one might say that we’re all winners for witnessing the mind-bending speed of so many myths and legends.”