How to find a mentor - the RIGHT way

What's up you guys, it's Graham here. So this is probably one of the most important topics that I'm going to be discussing so far, and it's about mentoring. I feel like so many people are so caught up right now in trying to find a mentor. They think that a mentor is going to be the end all, be all of life and success and business, and they feel like they need a mentor first, and then they can go and start doing things that they really want to do, versus just doing those things now and then finding a mentor naturally as they go along.

Now, the common theme with all of the mentors that I had is that I didn't go up to them and I didn't ask, "Hey, will you be my mentor? Will you teach me?" I have to say, you guys, that is one of the most common questions I get from everybody: "Graham, will you mentor me? Graham, will you teach me?" And that's probably one of the worst ways to go about it. I'll be completely honest with you; I can't ever see that working. First of all, it tells me nothing about you. It tells me nothing about how motivated you are, how passionate you are, how knowledgeable you are.

Same with asking me questions that you could find off Google in a search. It's different to ask my opinion on something than ask me something that you can Google for 2 seconds and find the answer. It shows me that you've done no research whatsoever about what you want to do. You don't have the capacity to find the answers on your own and be resourceful. If someone's going to teach you something, they want to know that you're 100% in, that you're really dedicated, that you're enthusiastic, that you're passionate, and that you bring something to the table, not just trying to take something.

You always have to offer something in return. I've always come in with something that I've offered them, which is either my enthusiasm, my passion, my drive, my focus. There have been a multitude of things that have come to the table that can benefit everybody. It's not just like me going up to somebody asking, "Will you mentor me?" Like, that's such a bad question.

Um, same with going up to somebody and asking them like a very generic question that just you can't answer. Like, like another one I get is like, "Graham, I want to make a million dollars. How can I make a million dollars? Please help me." And then, and that's honestly, that's such a generic question. It's like, I can't answer that, you guys, for real. It's like there are a million ways to make a million dollars. You need to go into it asking very specific questions.

So here's my recommendation with how to find a mentor: first off, you need to start on your own path. You need to do things already. You don't need to wait around for a mentor to come and pick you up and swoop you up and then bring you to success. You need to be on that path already. So step number one: be on that path, do your own research, and start as if you already have a mentor. Just start. Start right now. Start doing your research. Start doing whatever you want to do.

I think naturally and organically, people are going to see your passion. They're going to see what you have to bring to the table, and they're naturally going to want to help you out. Successful people usually aren't the type to be like trying to hoard all their information, to hoard everything that they have. Every successful person that I've seen personally has been some of the most giving people you would ever imagine. I mean, they are the most generous people in terms of what they have to offer.

And a mentor, by the way, is less about giving you step-by-step guides about how to get somewhere, but they're more about providing experience and wisdom and knowledge and their opinion. Because here's the biggest difference from what I see from a lot of the comments I get and from the comments I get from people who are already on the path. The comments I get from people in the first mentality of, like, "Will you mentor me? Will you teach me?" They ask me questions that they could find out very easily with a Google search.

Now, no disrespect to that, these are all great questions, but it tells me that you really haven't taken the time to do any research whatsoever. The questions that I get from people that I know are really going to do well are very specific, and they're very opinionated. It's less about, "Graham, what type of rent can I get in San Bernardino?" but more about, "Graham, why did you buy in San Bernardino versus this area? What is your experience renting with a tenant in San Bernardino versus renting to a tenant in Los Angeles? Have you noticed there's more demand in that price point than this price point?" There are very opinionated questions, and that's where my expertise comes in.

It's not telling you the average price per square foot of San Bernardino because you could find that on your own. Like, you need to do some research, and that's what a mentor, in my opinion, really has to offer. It's less about facts, and it's more about opinions and experience and knowledge and wisdom that they have to bring to the table. I don't think a mentor is going to be someone, again, to swoop you up and take you to success and save you necessarily, and they're not going to give you the step-by-step advice to getting exactly what you want.

You need to already be on this path. You need to already be doing exactly what you want to do. Usually, naturally and organically, things happen, and things work in your favor from people who see you already on that path and want to help you succeed. You don't need that as an excuse to not do something; just go and do it anyway.

So my advice for finding a mentor is not to wait around to find a mentor, it's just to go and do it. If you want to be in real estate, go ahead and get your real estate license. Go ahead and start on that path. Go ahead and make things happen for yourself and not wait for someone to come around or not wait for this moment to happen that's going to change your life. Just go and do it anyway.

In each one of my circumstances of finding a mentor, I have never once thought I would find a mentor. I didn't even, that wasn't even crossing my radar. It just happened naturally. So in each of those circumstances, it was not me going up asking for something; it was me going up showing my enthusiasm, and it just happening naturally and organically.

There were also a lot of great organizations online for you to get involved in. Chances are, no matter what you're doing, there's an online forum that you can join and be a part of and exchange ideas and interests and activities. Like, for all my financial interests and stuff like that, I go on a forum on Reddit. It's called Financial Independence, and I spend hours there. I like answering comments, I read comments, and I just become a part of this community. It's not necessarily like I have one mentor, but I'm learning from the collective group as a whole.

And that's what's so powerful about the internet, is that chances are, no matter what you're into, you can find a mentor from that, and you can learn from a multitude of people. Even from you watching this video, chances are there are YouTube videos about exactly what you want to do. So it's about taking the advice that you're able to learn on your own, doing the research on your own, starting this on your own, and you're just naturally going to meet people who are going to want to see you succeed and they're going to want to help you out.

So as always, you guys, I really hope this video helps. I really appreciate you watching. And again, it's less about going up to somebody asking, "Will you be my mentor?" and more about just doing it regardless of whether you have a mentor or not. And sure, a mentor will come into your life naturally; it's less about asking for something and more about just doing it and having someone come in and see you naturally on their own accord and helping you out.

Thank you so much for watching my videos. Thank you so much for everybody that subscribed. If you haven't already, by the way, subscribe, like the video if you enjoy it, comment down below, let me know your thoughts, let me know your thoughts on my new lighting equipment setup and all that cool jazz. And if you haven't already, add me on Snapchat, add me on Instagram. I'm posting on Instagram now, so you don't want to miss out on that. And until next time.