15 Things That Seem Important But Aren't
You know, from the moment we wake up in the morning, we can feel society's pressures looming over us like a dark cloud, can't we? But what if some of the things they tell us we need to have aren't really that important at all? What if we could kick these expectations to the curb and actually thrive? Well, there actually is no "What if" here; it's real!
Okay. There are some things that we grow up thinking are really important. But when you strip them away, you still survive without them just fine. Here are 15 things you've been told are important in life but actually aren't.
First up is having a plan, and we know what you're thinking. Okay? When you tell people you're quitting your job because you're unhappy, the first thing they ask is, "Well, what's your plan for after?" We've got this idea that without a plan, our lives will completely fall apart. But speak to successful people, and you'll hear that often, they left a job, a relationship, even a country with just an idea and no plan set in stone. Not having a plan encourages us to think on our feet. It pushes us to work harder and embrace every opportunity. Without a plan, you become adaptable and resilient, and you're able to handle life's curveballs.
Now, it's a different story if you've got a family and people depending on you. But when you're young and responsible for only yourself, that's your chance. Screw the plan! Come up with a good idea and go for it.
Next on our list is not giving up. This is another thing that we hear all the time: "Don't give up no matter how hard it is. Just push through." But again, every successful person you meet has given up on something at one point or another. You know, when you no longer believe in something, you know when it's not going to work out. So why are you holding on so tightly? Is it because you've been told that giving up is failure? The tide changes, and you either grab a life raft or you get lost at sea. We have to give up on some things to be able to pursue other better things. You have to give up on your toxic relationships, stale work environments, or unhealthy hearts. Just because you want something to work and you're giving 100% to it doesn't mean it will work. And the reality is, you cannot grab onto new opportunities if you're still holding on to old ones. If it's not working, let them go.
Forgiving people. Look, betrayal sucks, right? And the moment someone hurts you, you have people telling you that you need to forgive them. "It's for your own good." They'll tell you, "You don't want to end up being bitter and angry." But forgiving someone doesn't really help with anger or bitterness. In fact, if you forgive someone before you're ready to, it can lead to a false sense of closure. You don't have the chance to heal properly when you forgive someone just because you've been told it'll make you feel better. It also opens up the door for that person to hurt you again. Protecting yourself and your boundaries is far more important. You don't have to forgive and forget to move on. You can just do it. You can just move on. Forgiveness is for you, my friend. Nobody else.
Lots of trendy clothes. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you can command a room. But we've been lied to, my friend. We're told that to look good, you have to keep up with the latest trends. Skinny jeans are out. Mom and dad jeans are in, boots are out, Dad sneakers are in. The truth is, lots of trendy clothes don't make you look good. They can actually make you look kind of cheap and ordinary. Fast fashion churns out clothes at an alarming rate, and everyone wears the same style. It's like seeing clones of people walking around. It's not memorable or noticeable. It's better to find your own unique style, the colors and fit that work for you.
Stay away from those fast-changing trends and fast fashion stores. Instead of buying new clothes every month, put away that money for three months, and then buy some good quality pieces that suit your shape and style. You'll stand out. Your clothes will last longer, and everything you buy will suit your personality, not somebody else's.
Maintaining relationships no matter what. There is this idea when people have been in your life for a long time that you have to do everything you can to keep them in your life. But anyone who's had a toxic relationship with their parents, siblings, relatives, or even a lifelong friend knows how unhealthy and destructive this can be. If someone isn't bringing value to your life, you don't owe them your time or energy. If they're only hurting you and making you feel bad about yourself, it's more than okay to let that relationship go.
It's not an easy decision to make. Unfortunately, society often does question this, especially if it's a child distancing themselves from their parents. But we don't owe anyone an explanation. It's not an easy decision to make. It's not a decision that people make lightly. So know that if you've reached this point, you've probably already done everything you can. You deserve the peace of letting toxic relationships go.
Feeling and being motivated when you've got it. Hey, motivation is a great feeling, right? But it's also so very fleeting. It can last a couple of hours, a couple of minutes. And if you're lucky, a couple of days. We put a lot of pressure on feeling motivated because when we do get the extra energy, our productivity levels skyrocket. It also feels like it's going to stay that way, and then things come crashing down. But motivation is overrated because it's not actually the tool that's going to get you where you need to be. What you need and what you're looking for is discipline. You need to be consistent. You can't afford to wait for your brain and body to replenish your motivation levels. It's going to take a while. You have no idea when it's going to come again. So when someone describes you, make sure they can use the words discipline and hard-working rather than just motivated.
Being up to date with pop culture. Have you ever had those moments when you were sitting with a group of people, and they're all talking about the same movie, book, TV show, or news event? You might want to run home and watch what they're talking about so you can be a part of that conversation too. But wait, what are you doing in the time they're watching and reading everything? If what you're doing is more important to you and aligns with your values and goals, then screw that and stick with what you're doing.
It's far more important to focus on doing things that you want to do rather than feeling like you need to do it to keep up with your friends and colleagues. And when they ask you what you thought of the movie or TV show, well, you can just say you didn't watch it because you spent that time working on your side hustle and, hey, would they like to buy anything? You can still participate in the conversation even if you haven't read the book or watched the movie. Don't feel like you have to let go of your hobbies just to be able to keep up with everyone else.
Staying constantly connected. You might feel like to be able to perform well at your job and be present in your loved ones' lives, you need to be connected all the time, but that's not true. Studies show that those who have dedicated connectivity times are a lot more productive and present than people who are constantly connected. The people who set aside time in the morning and evening to respond to messages and make their calls get a lot more done and are able to communicate their points far better than the people who are always available.
Following traditions. This is a tough one because traditions can be beautiful. They're nostalgic, and they give us a chance to remember and respect the people who came before us and started these traditions. But they can also be kind of painful. Sometimes they stop us from progressing and keep us stagnant. They reflect values and beliefs of the generations before us, and let's be honest, times have changed. Our opinions and perspectives have broadened, and when we think critically about them, sometimes the traditions just don't make sense anymore.
It can be difficult to let them go. But if old traditions don't align with your new life, you can adapt them to suit you, or you can let go of them completely. They're only that important if you decide they are.
Looking for experience. This goes out to all the recruiters and hiring managers out there. Time and time again, we've seen that experience doesn't equal efficiency or effectiveness. Someone's attitude is far more important than the things they've done before. Startup companies often hire people straight out of college because they can't afford to pay people with experience. But you know what? That's where the magic happens. People are ambitious and hungry. They're full of ideas, and they've got their finger on the pulse of what's coming up next.
If someone is good at their job, if they're innovative, and you can see that they want this, they're going to be an incredibly valuable asset regardless of experience. Take a chance on them because you probably won't regret it.
Six meals a day. For the longest time, we were all told that to be able to thrive, we need three big meals and three small snacks a day. They said that eating more frequently would speed up our metabolism. They said it would help with weight management, blood sugar levels, and digestive health. But now the research is kind of saying the opposite. We're seeing studies say that meal frequency really has no impact on metabolic rate. What matters is the total amount of energy consumed and used throughout the day. What matters is the quality of food rather than how often you're eating it.
It's really simple, actually. You eat well-balanced meals when you're hungry, not when you're bored. The more energy you use, the hungrier you'll be. We're all very different. So the only thing you can do is to listen to your body's cues and let go of the myth that you need to eat six meals a day.
In at number 11 on this list is being nice to everyone. We have to make a distinction between being nice and being respectful. There are two types of respect. There's the baseline level of respect that we owe to everyone as a part of the social contract of being human. And then there is the respect that people earn. You can respect someone even if you don't personally like them because respect is based on a genuine acknowledgment of someone's value. You don't have to be nice to everyone.
You can extend baseline courtesies like greeting and acknowledging their presence, but you really don't have to make small talk. You don't have to compliment them or exchange any further pleasantries with them at all.
Self-care will make you happy. The Science of Well-Being course at Yale University is one of the most popular courses ever taken there. The course talks about what truly makes us happy and healthy. Now, in the longest happiness study ever done, researchers found that people are happier sharing their time and resources with other people than they are when they spend it all on themselves. So in simple terms, if you took the money you were going to spend on self-care and spent it helping someone in need, you would feel happier and more fulfilled for way longer.
We might be losing our sense of community externally, but it's just as strong as ever in our minds. We have always been and will always be connected social creatures. Our brains want us to reach out to other people. Self-care is good sometimes, but not all the time, and it's not the total answer to happiness.
Staying positive. Sometimes life sucks. Okay. That's it. There's no explanation for it, no reason behind it. Sometimes it just sucks. Society's expectation that staying positive equals resilience is a total B.S. lie. It can create more pressure and leads to feelings of inadequacy. It constructs this bubble where you avoid reality, and you don't actually deal with the issue because, hey, it'll work itself out. Sometimes we don't feel positive, and masking your true feelings with that facade denies your true emotions. It represses them. You end up feeling even more stressed and anxious.
Staying positive isn't going to fix the issue, but it's still important to remember that your response to a situation is within your control. The opposite of staying positive isn't being negative and complaining. It's accepting all outcomes. It's knowing that no matter what happens to you, you'll be okay.
Waiting for the right time. We've all been there, hanging on to this romantic idea that everything will align, and the universe will send us a sign. Life is a wild, unpredictable ride. And the right moment, well, it's pretty much a mythical creature. Okay. Opportunities come and go way too quickly, and they're just. They're gone. Things are never going to align properly. And this idea that we all know when the time is right puts so much pressure on us to keep looking out for this mythical right time.
The truth is, we don't know when the right moment is going to come, and the chances of everything aligning perfectly are just so slim, which means you just have to take the leap without a sign at all. Having said that, though, surprise! This is your sign. You've been waiting for a sign to do something, and this is it. Okay, so give it everything you've got and go for it.
These are 15 things that seem important but really aren't. Don't let society dictate how you live your life. Hey, Lux, are you? Do it on your own terms. Okay. Now, we'd love to know: What's the one thing that you've been scared of doing? The thing you've been waiting for the perfect time to do it. Let us know in the comments down below and get rid of that fear. We'll see you back here next time. Like, sir. Take care.