Jason Derulo gets real about his darkest moments

I wish I had one answer for that. I have a ton.

Hey, what's up people? I'm Jason Derulo, entertainer and now author. Hmm. As somebody who deals with all kinds of insecurities, you know, I have a long list.

Let's talk about the first time that I felt like that. I remember being a kid. I was like, "Why am I fat? Why do I have asthma? Why do I have acne? Why me?" I felt like I was alone in this situation. Like all of these things were wrong with me. I just wasn't satisfied. You know, I wasn't happy.

The only thing that could get me out of that place is working towards not being in that place. We used to literally put the dry cleaners' bags on 'cause we didn't have sweatsuits. I would put it on, my brother would put it on, and my sister would put it on, and we would all go on jogs together.

And slowly, I started to see my health get better. Nowadays, that little kid rears his head every so often. I guess it's in a totally different kind of form. I've sold 250 million records. I have over 75 platinums within my career. I've done a ton, but I just always feel like I can do better. I always feel like there's more.

It is a bit of an obsession, and it's a tough place to be in as well because, you know, there's never a destination. I never arrive anywhere. I'm trying to please my mother still. My mother has always been my rock. She's always been the person in my corner. Never led me to believe that my dreams were impossible.

Always want to make my mom proud, except releasing "Talk Dirty," she ain't want me to release that one.

♪ Talk dirty to me ♪

She was like, "That's not you!" I was like, "Mom, this is me!" So I ended up releasing "Talk Dirty" anyway. It did do very well for me. My son is someone that I wanna please. He is my world, you know? He came in and shook everything up, and now everything is for him.

I didn't get enough time with my dad, and my dad was always chasing a dream of his. That's the one thing that I want to kind of change, you know, break the mold from that perspective.

'Cause yes, I'm chasing these dreams. I'm chasing, you know, all of this stuff - it's all good, but at the end of the day, my son needs his time, and I need my time with my son.

One of the ways I actually talk about in my book, "Sing Your Name Out Loud," is when I broke my neck in 2014. I broke my C2 vertebrae. It was one that could have left me either paraplegic or worse.

It's called a "hangman's break," the break that I had. The moment that the doctor told me that I was gonna be out for a significant amount of time, in that moment, yeah, I couldn't hold back tears. It was a seven, seven-month process where I couldn't tie my shoes. I couldn't take a shower myself.

That seven-month process was pretty dark at times, and I, you know, thought of giving up and "What if I'm never able to get back? Did I save enough money?" I was worried about this being my demise. I just tried to shut all of the darkness outta my mind and just focus on the day's goals.

I relied on the everyday routine and my plan and tried to win each day. And I guess I was writing a lot of songs that were uplifting to kind of lift me out of the negative space that I was in. Songs like "Marry Me," and "Talk Dirty," and "The Other Side."

♪ Take me to the other side ♪

You know, "Wiggle." All kinds of songs, in that time period. The human body is really resilient. You have the proper thoughts and you speak to yourself in the right manner; you can really get through anything.

I say it all the time: You should speak to yourself like you speak to your very best friend. You would never tell your best friend that you can't do this. 'Cause I feel like we are so hard on ourselves and so down on ourselves, but we're so much more positive to the people around us.

And if we just treated ourselves half as good as we treat other people, even if we're lying, we would have such an easier time in general. I used to try to balance my musician persona and my personal persona, and try to turn it on when it was music time and kind of keep my true self kind of in the back burner.

But that all changed during the pandemic when I decided to do social media. People had a real insight of who I am, where I am, who the people around me are. That was an eye-opening experience, you know, that music and your personality go hand-in-hand, and I don't think you should have one without the other.

Once I finally figured it out, I feel like all of the stars started to align, and everything started to come together in a beautiful way.