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Street Fighter PUPPET SHOW: BLANKA!

2m read
·Nov 10, 2024

No, you shut up.

Oh, hello! I'm Adam Mlin from Wacky Gamer. I'm going to be sick! Did you know that I have an online puppet show called Animal Trash that you can watch on YouTube? It's true! We even made a video for Vuce, but don't take my word for it—check it out, won't you? Check it out, won't you?

When I think of disgusting redheaded monsters with skin conditions, the first person I think of is Danny Bonaduce. Then I think of the ginger-topped Beast. No, not Katop (Blanca) from Street Fighter! First and foremost, I do want to address the Beast comment. I mean, really, Blanca's so ugly he's like the redheaded stepson of the fighting universe! I wonder what it was like for him growing up. Of course, I was picked on in high school. I look like an Incredible Hulk Mark McGwire. I've heard all the insults: Prehistoric Carrot Top, Fireburger of Guatemala, Child Molester, Pokémon Zom, Carrot Cake. I've heard them all!

That's the kind of childhood trauma you never recover from. Do you think it's been easy for Blanca? It's a wonder I went to rehab. Usually, when a monster is as ugly as Blanca, they have some kind of superpower that makes up for their appearance, like the Incredible Hulk's strength. All Blanca has is some really unreliable static electricity!

Does anyone have a light? Wait, wait, wait! I got it! Hold on—damn it, no, my B button's stuck! And to add insult to injury, the only way to use Blanca's lightning attack is to let your opponent get close enough to punch you in the face. This is my life!

Despite his numerous shortcomings, I find myself really liking Blanca, and whenever I play him, I can't help but wonder: what's he going to do after Street Fighter? Where will I go after Super Street Fighter IV? Arbz, I'm going to be sick! Fireball!

Hey, Vsauce! Michael here, and I hope you had fun watching Animal Trash. Adam's actually made way more than what you just saw, so to see more, check out Animal Trash on YouTube! And while you're at it, help Wacky Gamer celebrate 1 million views! You can do that by clicking right here! [Music]

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