How Confidence Is Holding You Back

Hello Alexa, welcome back.

Let's be real here for a moment. Everything that is worth doing and everything that is worth getting needs a healthy dose of something that today's society doesn't really have anymore. And that thing is courage. The courage to take a calculated risk when everyone around you says you're wasting your time. Courage to go on a path of Uncharted Territory. Courage to give your dreams an actual shot.

Courage to say, "You know what? I'm going to make things happen for myself," and then to actually believe it. And you see, courage is not the absence of fear; it's the desire to act despite not knowing everything. It comes from the trust you put into your own abilities. Do you actually believe you can learn what needs to be learned? Do you actually believe you can do what needs to be done? Are you actually willing to sacrifice what needs to be sacrificed?

And the answer to those questions comes from one thing, and my friend, that thing is called confidence. And that's what this video is all about: the impact of your own confidence in your life. Welcome to Alux.

The human mind is a complex and fascinating thing. It's capable of achieving amazing feats, but it could also be its own worst enemy. One of the biggest obstacles to achieving success in life is a lack of confidence. Unfortunately, this is a problem that many people face, and it can have a profound impact on their ability to achieve their goals.

And that's exactly why on the Alux app, we've got a learning pack dedicated to this topic. It's called "Building Self-Confidence from the Ground Up," and it's included in your subscription to the app. Just like all of our learning packs, this one goes deep into not just how to handle a lack of confidence and build it up, but it also goes to where the root of your low confidence lies—where it started and why—so you can better understand and build yourself back up again.

Which is important because a lack of confidence can manifest in many ways. For some, it might mean being afraid to speak up in a group setting or feeling uncomfortable in social situations. For others, it could mean hesitating to take on new challenges or being unsure of their abilities. Whatever the case may be, the end result is often the same: a lack of confidence can hold you back from achieving your full potential.

People think that procrastination is what holds them back, but you know what procrastination truly is? It's your brain not being confident enough that you can actually do the thing. It fears you'll get injured or hurt, or it'll take too much time, and you won't be able to do it. So it signals your body to feel tired and avoid doing the thing.

But when you know you can crush something, when you know you can execute an ability that makes people wonder how the hell you're doing it, procrastination is no more. Think of something you know how to do really well—something you truly excel at, no matter what it is. Now, when you think about it, do you feel tired or empowered? You see, that's your confidence building up, not your procrastination breaking you down.

Now, one of the biggest problems with a lack of confidence is it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't believe in yourself, you're less likely to take risks or try new things. And as a result, you might miss out on opportunities that could lead to success. This can create a negative feedback loop that reinforces your lack of confidence and makes it even harder to break out of.

In contrast, having confidence can be a powerful force in achieving success. When you believe in yourself, you're more likely to take risks and pursue your goals. You're also more likely to bounce back from setbacks and learn from your mistakes. In short, confidence can be the fuel that propels you towards success.

So why do so many people struggle with a lack of confidence? Well, there are many factors that can contribute to this problem. For some, it could be a lack of positive feedback or encouragement in their lives. For others, it might be a history of failure or rejection that's eroded their confidence over time. If you're always at the bottom of the class, you won't be confident that you can deliver something that other people care about. If you are always the bottom performer, you won't be confident that you can become an expert and execute at a top level.

But regardless of the cause, the important thing is to recognize a lack of confidence is not a permanent condition. It's something that you can overcome with time and effort. In the following sections, we're going to explore some of the ways a lack of confidence can hold you back, as well as some strategies for building confidence and achieving your goals.

All right, let's start off with the paralysis of analysis. One of the most insidious ways a lack of confidence can hold you back is by causing you to get stuck in a cycle of analysis paralysis. This is when you spend so much time analyzing a situation or a decision that you become unable to take any action. You might weigh the pros and cons of a decision for days or even weeks but never actually make a move.

This is why people have thousands of business ideas but zero businesses started, or when they plan a trip for Europe in five years but never end up going, or why they never make the first move. This type of behavior is driven by fear and uncertainty. You might be afraid of making the wrong choice or unsure of your abilities to handle a particular situation. As a result, you get stuck in a cycle of overthinking and indecision.

What if the business fails on a spectacular level and everyone makes fun of you for being a wannabe entrepreneur? What if you end up losing your wallet in Europe, and you get stuck God knows where with no one to rescue you? What if they don't just say no, but they also start laughing in your face at the sheer audacity of you going for someone out of your league?

The problem with analysis paralysis is it actually prevents you from achieving your goals. If you're always second-guessing yourself and afraid to take action, you'll never be able to move forward. This can lead to missed opportunities and a lack of progress towards your goals.

To overcome analysis paralysis, it's important to recognize that no decision is ever completely risk-free. There will always be some degree of uncertainty and potential for failure. The key is to accept this and to focus on making the best decision you can with the information you have. Remember, it's often better to take action and learn from your mistakes than to do nothing at all because you learn nothing in that case.

And this is when your risk tolerance comes in. You have to ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" and try to really think of the absolute worst but realistic scenario. Then you need to try to find ways to mitigate the biggest bulk of the worst-case scenario and learn to be fine with the stuff you can't control.

For starting a business, the worst-case scenario is you lose your time and money. You can't avoid losing your time, but you can avoid losing your money by not going for a dumb business plan that requires thousands of dollars just to test it out. And you can do the same for any kind of example.

Now let's talk about the fear of failure, and this fear can be paralyzing, making it difficult to take risks or try new things. You might be afraid of looking foolish in public or disappointing yourself or others. The problem with the fear of failure is it can prevent you from ever truly reaching your full potential. Success often requires taking risks and trying new things, so if you're too afraid of failure to take those risks, you'll never be able to achieve your goal.

To overcome this fear of failure, it's important to remember that failure is a natural part of the learning process. No one succeeds at everything they try—especially the first time—and everyone experiences failure at some point in their lives.

Now, even though failure is a natural part of the learning process, honestly, that doesn't really comfort anybody. And neither does the fact that failure can be a learning experience because very few people actually learn from their own failures. So instead, we suggest another thing. It's important to realize that failure is not a reflection of who you are as a person. If you fail at something, it's just that: you fail at something, not at everything.

It doesn't cancel out who you are or what you can do in the future, unless you've done goofed up on a colossal scale—like you got yourself locked up in jail. But you're smart, and you know how to avoid that.

But even after you managed to get past the paralysis of analysis and the fear of failure, you still have one more mountain to conquer, and that is imposter syndrome. This is your final hurdle to overcome in building up your confidence. This is the feeling that you don't deserve your success and that you're somehow fooling others into thinking that you're competent and capable.

It's a feeling of being a fraud, and it can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and confidence. The problem with imposter syndrome is it can make you feel like you're not good enough, even when you are. It prevents you from fully owning your successes and feeling confident in your abilities, and this can lead to a lack of self-esteem and confidence, which will hold you back in all areas of life.

And those who decide to take life into their own hands, they're the ones more prone to battling with imposter syndrome. This is because you're in a situation out of the ordinary. If all of your friends have a job and you decide to start a YouTube channel, you will 100% have to deal with this. If your family wants you to be a lawyer, but you want to create 3D worlds for video games, you're going to have to deal with this.

Every time you take a different path than the status quo, you will face imposter syndrome. You will constantly think, "What makes you so special that going on a path like this could ever be viable?" And you're not alone with this.

To overcome imposter syndrome, it's important to recognize that it's a common feeling that many people experience. It's also important to remind yourself of your successes and the hard work you've put in to achieve them. You deserve your successes, and you have the skills and abilities to continue achieving more in the future.

And if you want to take this to the next level, charge more. Okay, this is a piece of advice we added into our freelance mastery course published last year. By charging more, we mean taking yourself seriously. And if you're a freelancer, charging more literally means charging more.

For example, if you're a YouTuber, charging more means looking at your time editing a video like it's work time and treating it as such. Act like a professional in everything you do, and slowly over time, the impostor syndrome will go away.

And remember, Aluxer, that everyone experiences setbacks and failures, and these are opportunities for learning and growth. Confidence is not built overnight; it's a byproduct of you taking your life into your own hands and giving it your best shot.

And we'll leave you with a little secret: you on your own won't know when you've become confident. The way you'll know it is when people start praising you for your courage.

Thanks for watching, Aluxer. We'll see you back here again tomorrow.