How to quickly ruin the rest of your life

Here's another quick tutorial on how to quickly ruin your life.

Step one: Eliminate your goals. Don't orient yourself towards a North star. Don't develop a vision for what your life could be like. Doing this will make it impossible to progress in life, because without a goal, how do you know you're progressing? Eliminate any desire to get yourself out of a suboptimal situation. Subscribe to the idea that this is just the way life is; this is all I can be. It's not hopelessness; it's self-acceptance. Use loving yourself as an excuse to spin your wheels and mentally deteriorate. Confuse self-love with self-neglect. Wander aimlessly through life, not really knowing why you're here.

Step two: Stay inside. Don't expose yourself to the light. Don't be a person in the world. Stay hidden. Operate in the shadows. Never subject yourself to the judgment of others. Close yourself off from new information and new perspectives. Let algorithms create deep grooves of repeated behavior and topics, catering only to your already limited interests until you're viewing the same things and thinking the same thoughts for the rest of your life. Allow your mind to shrink, and with it, your world.

Step three: Avoid risk. If something's risky, don't do it. You don't want to end up like that one guy who did that thing and lost everything. What was his name again? Again, assume that by avoiding risk, you get to avoid pain. Believe that the people who made it big in life made obvious, beneficial decisions with little perceivable downsides, and just wait for that crystal-clear opportunity to come around for you. Never ask for a raise, tell a risky joke, or stand up for what you think is right. Never apply for a job unless you know for sure you're going to get it. Never ask somebody out unless you know for certain that they're interested. Don't put your hand up because your question might be stupid. Always wait for the obvious play, because it'll present itself eventually. Right?

Step four: Overthink. Let every decision you make, no matter how minute, require a deep brooding think. Assume that your own logic is foolproof. Get lost in the cobwebs of your own mind, divorced from external scrutiny. Develop your own personal theories about everything, and never bounce these ideas off other people; bounce them off yourself.

Step five: Consume. Always consume more than you produce. Keep your brain entertained at all times, not by your own creative endeavors, obviously, but by other people making stuff. Fill your mind not with great works of art or education, but with content. Willingly subject yourself to the influence of those who encourage further consumption. Constantly stay up to date with reviews, rumors, comparisons. Motivate yourself, not by fostering virtue, but by accumulating objects. Pay your dues regularly to remain in this cycle, and if consumption becomes compulsive, even better! Now you don't have to think about it.

Step six: Avoid criticism. Don't surround yourself with people who keep you in check, challenge your viewpoints, or offer differing perspectives. Spend time only with those who think how you think and act how you act. Constantly judge those who live differently. Be quick to shut down any discussion of matters you're convicted on, especially ones you're emotional about. Let your ego blind you from any real growth. Go through life believing that you amazingly have the correct viewpoint on things: politics, religion, relationships. Never learn what it feels like to have your belief system challenged, because that's uncomfortable.

Step seven: Be secretive. Never expose your darker side to anyone for any reason. Don't let anybody know about the bad things you've done or the things you struggle with. Let your addictions blossom in secret, where they continue to gain power. Develop a tendency to hold your thoughts, actions, and emotions close to your chest. Be proactive in maintaining a facade of perfection. Never let anyone suspect that you could have flaws or struggles or any kind of normal human weakness. Just focus on the act; the show must go on. Let what you do in the shadows stay there, rotting you from the inside.

Step eight: Avoid conflict. If something bothers you, don't mention it. If someone wrongs you, tell them it's okay. We're good, bro. Never let your disapproval show on the surface. Let your resentment build slowly over time. Don't correct mistakes as they happen. Pretend not to see them, not to hear them. After all, talking about anything uncomfortable is just not something you want to do. You don't want people to think you're a bad person. You're nice, and just so easy to get along with. At least that's what you hope people say about you. Let brief disagreements remain unaddressed. Have an elephant in every room. Let the unsaid fester and grow, evolving gradually into an overwhelming resentment. Just try not to snap, because that makes you look like a bad person. Because it's okay if you slowly start to hate everyone around you, as long as they don't hate you.

Step nine: Play RuneScape.

Step ten: Be pessimistic. Always find a way to put a negative spin on things, like a demon on your shoulder convincing you that things are worse than they actually are. Complain compulsively that you have to go to work instead of that you get to. Lament about all these things you have to do, as if you're a child being sent to bed. Get so used to complaining that you can no longer recognize when something good happens to you. Everything is bad; everything sucks. Cling zealously to narratives that weaken you rather than build you up. Believe that nothing you ever do will end up working, because you're playing a losing game. That no habit you try to implement will ever stick, because they never have before. Defeat yourself before you even start. Be the demon on your own shoulder. Reflect only on the negative aspects of yourself until they're all you can see. Swaddle yourself in the despair of inaction. Convince yourself that that's somehow less painful than action.

So if you're generally pretty happy and you want things to just seem a little less bright, then you're in luck! Because if you follow this advice, you'll probably ruin the rest of your life.

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These types of anti-tutorials are kind of a way to bring these darker aspects of our psyche and our behaviors into the light, rather than keeping them in secret and not talking about them. It helps me reflect on my own negative tendencies so that I can recognize how silly they are. So if you found this helpful, I would appreciate it if you hit the like button, um, which will also help other people see this video, and hopefully it'll help them recognize their own negative thought patterns and behaviors.

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