Why following your dreams is ruining your life

• Okay. So, I've been wanting to make this video for a long time, and I'm still not totally confident that I have the exact words that I want to say, but I am pretty passionate about this concept. And I think there is sort of a toxic narrative in the world today, sort of an overprescribed antidote to a crappy life. And that is to follow your dreams.

Other iterations of this can be land your dream job, find your dream husband or dream wife, live in your dream house. This whole idea of following your dreams sounds really good and emotional, and it can get you excited. And you might say, well, I'm in a really crappy place. And the idea of eventually landing my dream job gives me hope.

What's wrong with developing a vision for my life and chasing that vision with all my heart? Well, there's a couple of things wrong with it because I think if you follow that train of thought, you might actually find that you'll be less happy, not more happy because you'll be focusing on the wrong things.

I'm not saying it's completely useless. There is something to be said about say, landing your dream job. What you do for a living does take up a considerable portion of your day. And if you absolutely hate what you do, then it's probably pretty difficult to enjoy yourself or for the experience of life to be something pleasant, something that you enjoy interacting with.

But at the same time you've heard, I've heard, and everyone on this earth has heard stories of people who are technically living their dream job. People who have made it, people who are extremely successful and are miserable and empty inside and they maybe even kill themselves. So, what's with that? Where's the disconnect?

They probably followed their dreams, but also neglected so many aspects of their lives that actually contribute to their overall happiness. And I can relate to this pretty heavily. Ever since I was 12 years old, I thought it would be so cool to be a YouTuber. And I made like 10 to 15 channels throughout my teen hood, sketch comedy with my friends, action movies. I've even tried movie reviews.

So often I would fantasize about the one day where a video blew up, and my channel will be just like lifted off the ground. And I wouldn't have to scoop dog poop for a living, or deliver mattresses up 10 story buildings. And I was like, "Oh, I could be a YouTuber. That would be so cool. I could wake up whenever I wanted to. I can make movies with my friends. I could pour my heart and soul into what I do and actually enjoy it."

And it happened and I'm a YouTuber now, and I have over a million subscribers and that's incredible. And it is incredible. But one thing that I didn't factor into my calculations as a kid is that I would be the exact same person that I was before and after landing my dream job, or making it. I'm the exact same person.

And the experience of what it feels like to be me, doesn't change regardless of what I do for a living, and any sort of tendency to postpone my own happiness, to wait for some day where I'll figure it all out. I can't be happy now. Things aren't good enough yet. I can't be happy about who I am. I'm not good enough yet. Those tendencies remained and yes, I landed my dream job, but I constantly find myself like, "No, I haven't made it yet."

I haven't reached the next level yet. I can't start dating people. This isn't the best version of me yet. The world hasn't seen who I can actually become, but it's poisonous. This postponing your happiness is toxic. And I feel like this, "follow your dreams" sentiment really fuels that. It makes us forget that so much happiness can be found in our present moment.

And I think it's so foolish to sacrifice relationships with your friends, your family, your mental health, your spiritual life, your physical health, in the pursuit of following your dreams. Finding that one thing that truly makes you happy, and makes everything make sense. You're delegating responsibility to some hypothetical. You're letting go of the reins of your life, and the responsibility of forging your own happiness in life as it is.

And rather, you're just saying, you're relinquishing control. You're saying, "Ah, this version sucks. I want the next version." And I just think that's an endless game. Unless you break that cycle early, you can be hamster wheeling yourself like that right into your grave.

So, rather than following your dreams, why not make today your dreams as cheesy as that sounds. Why not make your average day something that you really enjoy doing? Why not repair the relationships that are already in your life? Why not spend more time with the people that you care about?

Why not work on your habits, work on your body, develop a better relationship with yourself? Work on your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual health, and yes, have hopes and dreams for the future. Otherwise you're directionless, but don't forget to keep one foot grounded in the present moment and stop to smell the roses because life is a journey, not a destination.

(laughs) All of these things. It's so funny with like "follow your dreams," and "life is a journey, not a destination." There's so many cliches. It's like hard to figure out which ones actually are good advice, but I feel like there's truths to all of them, but none of them are absolute truths. Your own happiness and fulfillment in life is such a blend of a multitude of factors.

But anyways, yeah, like imagine for a second that you are a horribly miserable person. Maybe you don't have to imagine, but imagine you are resentful and you are anxious, and you're restless and you're depressed. And there's like the seed of insecurity, of anxiety, and of just pain at the core of your existence. Maybe that's you right now, and I've absolutely been there.

And you feel this feeling, this is the experience of being you. This is what being you feels like when there's no music to drown you out. No TV shows to distract you. Now, if you bring this ball, if you bring this soul into a new job position, that's technically on paper or what you want to do for a living, this experience will still be there.

This feeling of being you will still be there. And the conditions of your existence won't necessarily change the nature of your existence. If you want to change the nature of your existence, then you need to accept it. You have to stop running from it. And you have to listen to it and give it air time, and like figure out what your insecurities are.

Work through them. Maybe that's through therapy, good friendships, heart to hearts. And maybe that is taking care of your body. And maybe that is having more fulfilling hobbies. Like it's so much to have that feeling of being you, something that is enjoyable and free and happy and peaceful.

So, that's the important thing. If you are miserable, work on your misery directly, accept it, figure out what the actual feeling is, and how you can resolve it. I can almost guarantee you that it's a lot deeper than just what you do for a living, or whatever condition that you're sort of externalizing your problems onto.

Let's figure out what the core of the issue is here, and that way landing your dream job, or following your dreams, or making your dreams come true will become a lot less of a necessity. You can find peace and fulfillment sooner than you might think. So, yeah. I would love to hear your guys' thoughts in the comments section below.

Not the description, the comment section. Let me know one thing in your life that is immediately fixable, that would probably contribute to your overall happiness. Because I certainly know there are several categories in my own life that I need to work on, especially just going outside. I spend way too much time inside the walls of my house. So, I need to get outside more.

Let me know what you guys need to do. That's all for today. Thank you so much for watching. This video does have a sponsor, and that is Cuts, and Cuts is cool with this. They know that this is more of a personal piece, and I don't want to like pretend that a Cuts shirt will change your life, and do this whole ad spiel with like low-fi behind it, like I usually do.

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If you were to catch me in public at any point, walking around, at a coffee shop or wherever, I'll probably be wearing a Cuts shirt. So check them out. The link will be in the description. I think you guys get a discount too. Yeah. You guys get 15% off if you use my link in the description below, if you just so happen to be like, "Oh yeah, I could use like one or two shirts that I really like. I'm willing to spend a little bit of extra money on one or two shirts that I really genuinely enjoy putting on."

Then I don't have any other recommendations other than Cuts. So, check out my link to get 15% off. Thanks again to Cuts for sponsoring this video. Subscribe if you haven't already, but I don't really care if you do. I have enough subscribers, but I would like it if you liked the video, because that does help the algorithm.

It helps get this video out there, and who knows, someone might really need this right now. And this could give them a few ideas as to how they could change their life. So, that's all for today. Thank you so much for watching, and we'll catch you in the next video.