15 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don't Do
Hey there, relaxer!
We're starting off today with a little bit of an exercise. Think of a loved one. What do you feel now? Think of a difficult situation. Did your emotions change? If the answer to this question was yes, well, you're at least a little bit emotionally intelligent.
Emotional intelligence is like a compass that guides us through life's challenges. And as surprising as it might seem, you can work on it and improve it so you can become a better person: more patience, less stress, and an incredible amount of power to handle things that come with a good level of emotional intelligence.
To have a better view, let's describe some of these things that emotionally intelligent people try to avoid. This way, you'll be able to know what you should work on and improve to handle your emotions. Welcome to A Lux, my friend! Let's get started.
First up, these kinds of people never stop learning new things. Emotionally intelligent people thrive on curiosity; they see every experience as a chance to learn something new, always staying open to new ideas and growing continuously. And we're not just talking about reading as many books as possible. You can also find new ways to learn, even if it's about science, art, literature, or even cooking.
Challenging yourself to learn new things can put you in situations where you can develop other qualities too. Take changing a light bulb. You may not know how to do it, but when a light bulb doesn't work, you just have to do something. So you go online, and you learn how to change it. Then you can also learn that the switch should be off when changing it.
Afterward, you can try to find out what was the matter with the broken light bulb. Did it have a manufacturing flaw? Is there a problem with the power in your house? Did it just simply burn out? This example is about light bulbs, but you can get where we're going with this.
They never neglect themselves or their self-growth. Self-growth is the key to constant improvement and a positive mindset. Rather than comparing themselves to others, emotionally intelligent people focus on their own journey. Basically, they always put themselves first in some situations. This mindset fosters self-confidence and lasting happiness.
It's not a coincidence that so many people choose to focus on self-growth and practice various activities that can catalyze it. Focusing on your well-being will also help you to be better for those around you, so it's a win-win situation. Just like kids require a lot of attention from their parents when they're little, we adults also acquire a high level of attention, but from ourselves.
However, we just get stuck with other matters and forget to take care of ourselves as we should. But still, you can work on this. Start slowly, try to build some self-growth habits, and find what it is that helps you to focus on yourself.
They don't make decisions based on impulses. People with a high EQ take time to think things through. As Daniel Goldman said in one of his books, "We have two minds: rational and emotional." And as much as we would like to think that the rational one is the one making decisions, it's not, at least not entirely. The impulses first come from the emotional mind, as everything triggers an emotion, and some of us get stuck there.
However, emotionally intelligent people don't. They know that making a decision based on fleeting emotions is far from what's recommended, so they filter their thoughts through their second mind, the rational one. This way, they can make decisions grounded in logic, and this can lead to less stress and more time spent without worrying about the bad decisions that they've made.
They never take things too personally. People always say bad things without thinking very much, and when these kinds of things are destined to reach an emotionally intelligent individual, well, they know they shouldn't take it that personally. Criticism and setbacks don't shake these kinds of people; they realize that not everything is about them and avoid unnecessary stress.
Maybe the person who said that is just having a bad day, or maybe they even have some long-term problems that are bothering them. When someone says something offside, it's just easier to think they're not in their best shape and just move on without getting mad, sad, or disappointed. So, try not to take things too personally. Sometimes, actually, you know, most of the time, crappy words and criticism might not even be for you.
They never avoid difficult conversations. For emotionally intelligent people, they don't run from the difficult, but even when they face something difficult, like a tough conversation, they definitely don't avoid it. Why? Well, because they know how to handle it, of course. Addressing issues head-on is their way of resolving conflicts and building stronger connections.
So they tackle tough talks instead of dodging them, and this also happens because as emotionally intelligent people, they know how to handle their emotions and how to harness them for others. Imagine you borrowed something and broke it. As an emotionally intelligent person, you would not hide it. Instead, you would admit the mistake, apologize, and find a solution together with the person you borrowed from.
This kind of honesty might seem scary, but it's like cleaning out a messy closet. Once it's done, you'll surely feel better and lighter.
They never get involved in gossiping. Imagine that gossip is a sneaky virus that spreads negativity everywhere it goes. We're living in a post-COVID world; it's really not that hard to imagine. Well, emotionally intelligent people choose to wear a mask and get vaccinated instead of participating in gossip.
They get involved in meaningful conversations that bring positivity and understanding. And if you didn't like the virus example, well, we'll give you another one: gossip is like a game of broken telephone. You share a secret; it travels from ear to ear, changing and growing more negative along the way.
An emotionally intelligent person knows this is no game to play because it can hurt feelings and harm relationships, so they just don't play it. Instead of talking about others behind their back, they choose to discuss ideas, dreams, and the world around them. These kinds of conversations light up the room and everyone inside it.
They never get stuck on their negative thoughts. As an emotionally intelligent person, you've got an ace up your sleeve. You're like an expert problem solver for your own mind. When negativity knocks, you don't let it in. Instead, you peek through the window, not politely, and then show it the exit as politely as before.
So just imagine that you're worried about a driving exam or an important meeting at work. You shouldn't spend hours thinking of all the ways in which you could fail. Instead, you should acknowledge that nervous feeling and start to create a plan to study effectively.
Emotionally intelligent people know that negative thoughts are like clouds passing by. They don't let them rain on their parade. Instead, they reach for their umbrella of positivity, like all the things that make them happy: their favorite song or even their favorite food.
They never act on impulse. Emotions are like wild horses, but every horse has its charmer. When faced with a situation, emotionally intelligent people don't let their feelings take the reins. Instead, they take a pause, consider their options, and then respond with wisdom.
It's like when you were little, and your mother told you to always be careful with what you say. When you want to say or react to something, think about it first. Then count from one to five and take a deep breath. Only then, if you consider it still relevant, can you then go ahead and say or do something about it.
Emotionally intelligent people understand that reactions send out waves affecting others and the situation, so they choose to respond like artists, carefully leading their way to a true masterpiece. By being in control of their emotions, they build bridges instead of burning them. They show that even in challenging situations, we have the opportunity to choose kindness and understanding.
They never blame others for their actions and decisions. Life is like a big puzzle, each decision and action being a puzzle piece. Emotionally intelligent people are puzzle masters that know how to carefully find the place for each piece. So what does that mean? Well, they simply take responsibility for their actions and decisions, whether good or bad.
After all, it's a decision or action that they have made. When you point a finger at someone else, the other three are pointed back at you. It's just about holding the mirror up to yourself. When you do this, you don't just see flaws; you also see opportunities to grow and become a better version of yourself.
By taking responsibility, people turn setbacks into stepping stones. They become the architects of their own destiny, building the path to success by using bricks made of self-awareness.
They never forget about others' body language. Emotionally intelligent people don't just listen to words. Instead, they often pay attention to body language too, such as gestures, expressions, and posture. This special skill helps them to understand others behind their words that can sometimes hide things.
Imagine you're talking with a friend that says how happy they are thanks to a job promotion sending them to another country, but they constantly raise their shoulders, tend to keep their arms crossed, and when they're not, they're rubbing their hands together. An emotionally intelligent person would notice these movements and would ask them what's up, finding out that their friend is actually pretty anxious about this promotion.
By being body language detectives, we can create a bond of understanding. We can show that we're not just listeners, but we're also observers, making communication deeper and connections stronger.
They never hold back expressing their wishes and preferences clearly. It is not a surprise. Okay, we are not mind readers, and maybe that's for the best. But this fact challenges us to work on expressing ourselves better. We have to be like artists to paint a clear picture of our thoughts and desires, and we're not talking about pointillism or surrealism.
The painting has to be as clear as possible. Emotionally intelligent people understand that words are bridges connecting one mind to another, and of course, our body language too. But to express our wishes, we usually use words. This way, relationships aren't like dead ends, but like open fields where everyone knows where to go.
By expressing what you want, you can build trust and create smoother connections. It's just like adding more lights to the communication highway, making sure everyone has the same destination: the destination of understanding.
They never choose close friends poorly. Your heart is like a garden that hosts your friends as flowers, and you need to be the gardener, choosing which flowers to plant together so the whole garden will thrive. Instead of hanging out with people who always complain or talk about negative things, emotionally intelligent people choose friends that inspire them.
They understand that friendships are like mirrors, as they reflect who we are and how we feel. So they choose to surround themselves with people that can reflect positivity and kindness more than they reflect negativity and doubt. By choosing friends wisely, people create a supportive environment for their emotional well-being. They're basically building a circle of trust and care.
They never get involved in conflicts. Ever. Let's get back to the puzzle example. Conflicts are those pieces that come from a different puzzle, and there's no way they could fit into yours. This is how emotionally intelligent people think because they know conflicts can damage the whole puzzle.
When faced with disagreements, they don't dive headlong into an argument. Instead, they sail toward calmer waters. They ask questions to build greater understanding. They look for resolutions that mend relationships rather than breaking them.
Emotionally intelligent people understand that conflicts are like thunderstorms; they pass, but the damage can stay. They will disagree, discuss, even debate, but they're not the type to sling mud and fight dirty.
They never seek outside approval. Artists don't seek applause; sure, they feel good when they get it, but they never wait for praise. It's the same with approval. Emotionally intelligent people never seek approval because they trust themselves and their abilities.
They understand that seeking approval from others is like chasing something fast without a purpose. Instead of relying on outside opinions, they listen to their inner voices—the one that knows them best. By not seeking outside approval, emotionally intelligent people are building their own houses of self-worth.
They build strong foundations based on their values and beliefs rather than the shifting sands of others' opinions. It's like having an unbreakable shield that protects their self-esteem from the storms of doubt.
And finally, they don't get involved in sticky situations. Life is truly like a labyrinth. Different paths lead to different places, but emotionally intelligent people are the ones that know where to go and never get trapped in the quicksand.
They simply avoid taking paths that lead to unnecessary drama, choosing the scenic route of peace instead. When they face a complicated situation, they don't get in without thinking first. They balance whether it's even worth getting in and if they can handle it well.
By recognizing potential trouble, they can be like navigators who steer clear of stormy waters as much as reasonably possible. And there you have it—15 things emotionally intelligent people never do. How many of them can you check off your list? Don't worry, though; each and every one of them can be worked on or improved.
Thanks for hanging out with us today, Alexa! We're so glad you did. If you enjoyed this video, hey, give us a like and a share as a thank you. We'll see you back here next time! Take care!