Dianna Health Update from SmarterEveryDay

I've got some good news and, um, it's a little complicated, but I would love to explain it to you. My name is Dustin, by the way. Uh, I have a YouTube channel called Smarter Every Day, and this is Physics Girl; this is Diana's channel.

Uh, recently, I went to visit Diana, and I did this for many reasons. I intended on doing it in secret and not telling anyone I was doing it because Diana and I are friends in real life. So, um, just a little bit of background: way back in the day, I had some work out in Hawaii. I went and visited Diana's dad—just me visiting her dad, right? Diana gave a talk at Vanderbilt, and I went and saw Diana give a talk.

There are some things you just don't put on the internet because you're actual friends, and that's kind of where I'm at with Diana. If you're aware, uh, Diana's ill. She, uh, got long Covid not long after her wedding, and now she has a variety of diagnoses and it's a lot of letters that I don't understand, but, um, what I do know is that my friend Diana, she called me a while back, and she had a question.

This was not long after she had gotten sick, and I could tell that she was struggling with something. She said, "Hey, Des, I might have a hard time remembering this conversation because of all these reasons," and I was like, "No problem, Diana. You're Diana, I'm Destin, we're buddies, I love you." So, of course it doesn't matter, just whatever—I’m here with you no matter what.

Slowly, Diana's health started to decline, and as I watched everything unfold over social media, like most of you did, I became worried about my friend, and I was concerned. Specifically, I was concerned that she seemed to be laying in the bed a lot, and I was concerned that she was becoming weak. I didn't understand the situation.

Uh, if you've ever done caretaking in your family, it's a big deal. We've had some caretaking situations in our family, and one of the biggest things you want to do is make sure that people are trying to get stronger and doing all the things necessary to get stronger. Over social media, it's been unclear to me what's going on with Diana's health. I talked to my wife, Tara, and I said, "I really want to go see Diana; I want to sit in the room with her and hold her hand."

She said absolutely! So, um, I texted Diana and tried to figure out what made sense for her. Diana put me in touch with her husband, Kyle. Now, I've met Kyle once, and we didn't know each other that well, but I started talking to Kyle and I said, "Hey, do you think this is something that's possible?" He welcomed it, and we figured it out.

It was a little dicey because I didn't know if Diana would be up for a visitor on the day that I arrived where she lives, and uh, we just said, "You know what?! We're going to roll the dice. We're going to play it by ear and see what happens."

Sure enough, I arrived, and I asked Kyle, "What do you think, man?" He's like, "Come on!" I didn't know what to expect, but what I saw when I walked into their place encouraged me, and it encouraged me for many reasons. First of all, I saw Kyle. I saw Kyle in the living room, I'll call it, out front, and he was clearly tired—clearly, uh, that unmistakable—uh, what's the word? I mean, just like determination of a caretaker that I've seen before in my own family members.

I saw this person and I was like, "Kyle! Like, I'm so impressed by you!" Meeting Kyle in this situation in situ was encouraging. I started talking to him about what was going on, and he was telling me about all the great things going on in Diana's life. He was telling me about the challenges as well, and then somewhere along the conversation, he said, "Oh, I've got to get up. It's time to cook."

Kyle gets up, and he goes over and there's just stacks and stacks of papers, and he's got checklists. Kyle's an engineer; he's got checklists of how he keeps up with Diana's day and how he has a plan to help her get better, and he's working the plan. Just seeing that, seeing those physical pieces of paper with checklists and boxes—like, he was engineering everything he could do for his spouse's well-being and care, and that encouraged me.

We still didn't know if I was going to get to go to the back room and see Diana or not, but just seeing him in his element. I actually filmed a little bit of Kyle cooking, and, uh, I thought you might want to see that.

So, what is this? So this is chia seeds soaked in water, uh-huh. Um, and then I got, uh, coconut milk, and I'll put in some hemp seeds as well and just blend that together. Um, so she's basically on—uh—the way we described it is like a low histamine keto diet, so high fat, high protein, low carb, whole food, whatever.

And that's basically, you know, what she eats. So this thing is obviously a lot of calories, a lot of fat, that's good, proteins—but it tastes like hardboard. It tastes like hardboard. It tastes like hardboard. Oh wow, look! Chunky, and the seeds are all chopped up, so, um, we're on the digestion, sweet!

So what struck me about this is Kyle was smiling in a very, very difficult situation. He was working; he was loving Diana in a very real way, a very physical, tangible way, and he was smiling.

"What'd you make, Chef Kyle?"

"Just, uh, finishing up the squash. A little bit hard still, a few more minutes, but they're coming together nicely. Nice and brown."

The amount of strength that I saw on his face was incredible, so I was encouraged by that. Kyle went back and did some things with Diana for a while, and at some point, I went to the restroom.

While we were waiting, I was—I'll just say this because I think you should know—I went to the restroom and I thought to myself, "This is a very difficult caregiving situation." Like, this is a difficult place. Like, the restroom is not big enough, it's just not big enough.

I just thought that, and I filed that away and was like, "Okay, I'm just going to think about that." Then I went back, and I sat down and, um, I just waited, and then Kyle comes out with a smile on his face, and he goes, "Good news! It looks like you're going to be able to see her today!"

I was so excited, right? And so we talked for a little while, and then the time came, and then I walked in when Kyle invited me in, and there's Diana. She's, uh, laying in the bed, and she's sitting up a little bit, and, uh, there's a bed beside Diana.

I walk in and I said, "Hey, Diana." She said, "Hey, Des." It was a moment—moment! Like, I'm getting emotional just talking about it, but it was great.

So, uh, two old friends getting to see each other, and um, I walked up to the bed, and here's Diana lying down, a bed between me and her. I said, "Diana, I don't know how to, uh, how to sit with you. What would you like me to do?"

She said, "Crawl up here in this bed and lay down beside me." I said, "Great!" So I did, and, uh, I was trying to get comfortable so I could, you know, see Diana, and we figured it out. I got to where I could sit there, and Kyle sitting at the foot of the bed—

We had a great visit! It was amazing! We laughed, we smiled, I got to hold Diana's hand, and, uh, I asked her if that was okay. "Okay if I hold your hand?" She said, "Please do," and so I held her hand and gently just rubbed the back of her hand as we talked.

I said, "Diana, you set the pace here," um, and she's like, "Yeah." So we had a good conversation, and, um, at some point in the conversation, Diana looked at me and she goes, "Destin, I think I'm going to take a rest from talking for a minute."

She patted the back of my hand, and I said, "Okay, I'll just be right here." So she rested, and I just sat there and rubbed her hand and let her rest. Kyle talked a little bit, so Kyle and I had a conversation while she was resting.

Then she got her strength back, and she said, "Okay, I'm ready to talk again." We had another conversation. One thing I want you to know that Diana said that I think is important for you to know is Diana is supported via Patreon, and, um, she was asking me about that.

I support Diana on Patreon and have for a long, long time, even before this, if I recall. As I was sitting there talking to her, she said, "I'm concerned about Patreon." And I was like, "What are you concerned about?" She said, "I can't make videos—like, you see the situation I'm in."

I was like, "Diana!" And so I did something, and I hope this is okay with you. I spoke on behalf of all patrons of Physics Girl. I said, "Diana, I'm going to speak on behalf of all the patrons right now. I'm going to tell you this: your job is not to make videos. Like, I am not supporting you on Patreon for the videos that you make. It's not transactional. Your job is to get better."

As I said that, a calmness came over her face. It was like an anxiety was released, and I was looking out of the corner of my eye, and Kyle was nodding his head because he knew that this was a source of anxiety for Diana.

I said, "Your job is to get better. That's it! Your full-time job is that. That curve of health—we want the first derivative to be positive, and so that's your job."

Um, so I spoke on your behalf; I hope that's okay. Diana actually wanted me to tell you that after I left and they asked me to make this video, she said she wanted you—if you support on Patreon, I think it's patreon.com/physicsgirl—she wanted me to tell you that if this isn't what you signed up for, then thank you so much for the support you've given her, but, uh, she totally understands if this isn't something you're willing to support.

But I told her her job is to get better. So anyway, we had a lot of really good conversations, and there was something that happened that I thought was beautiful, and I want to tell you about it.

When I was with Kyle, and Diana was in the other room, I got to talk to Kyle about Diana. Nothing but positive things to say about her attitude. He was giving her agency over everything. Diana made the decisions; she called the shots, whether or not "Dustin" came in or not.

Kyle is 100% for Diana! That's what he's doing. It's a deep, deep, deep love, and I was impressed by it. It was a professional—like, I'm here for the long haul kind of love, and it was amazing. Professional might not be the word, but you know what I'm trying to say.

Likewise, when I was with Diana and Kyle was in the other room cooking some squash and getting some carrots ready, I got to talk to Diana about Kyle, and there was a deep, deep, deep love and appreciation for who he was as a person.

I saw something; I saw a deepness of their love and their care for each other that was unlike things I see for people at this stage in life typically. I loved it, and it was beautiful, and it's good! It's good news!

I saw—like, you know, I'm a Christian—I saw what I call the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I saw all of those things in that tiny apartment, and I loved it, and it was beautiful.

Um, I got to say some really meaningful things to Diana, I got to tell her a lot of stuff about me, and Kyle's right there, so it was just really, really nice. And before I left the room, it was clear she was getting tired.

I said, "Diana, would it be okay? Like, there's a thing we do in my family when someone's hurting; we go to them, we hold their hand, and we pray. Can I do that?" She said, "I'd love that!" So we did that together. It was great!

Um, I love Diana; I love Kyle. Um, they're in the thick of it right now. They're fighting really, really hard, and, um, it's good news! They're doing it right! They're doing it well, and, uh, I am encouraged by what I see in Diana's husband, Kyle. He's a—he's a strong, strong man, and he's leading her through a very, very difficult time.

I'm encouraged by what I see in Diana's heart. We laughed! Um, I told her a story of something that happened to me recently, and we belly laughed! I can't tell you what that did for my heart to hear Diana and Kyle belly laugh, but it was great!

Um, it's just beautiful. It's beautiful to see that before I went; I was unsure. I didn't know what the situation was. I didn't know if Diana was getting the care she needed. I didn't know if she was making efforts to get stronger. I didn't know if she was trying really, really hard.

When I went, I was encouraged. I saw all those things. I saw Diana was determined to make it through this difficult time. I saw a supportive spouse that would literally give up everything in his life to make sure that she's successful in her, um, her journey through this.

I was encouraged, and it's good news, and I wanted you to know that. I also wanted you to know that, um, I told Diana and Kyle, I said, "Hey, I think you should consider getting a different place. That's something that's customizable for your specific needs at this moment in time."

And, uh, I think it would be appropriate to use Patreon funds to do that, so I—I said that. I want you to know I said that. So I think they need a place that's bigger than what they have right now, um, that's better set up for their needs, and they can customize it for exactly what she needs. And so I said that.

So that's the thing—that's the update I want you to know, that, uh, they're in good spirits. Uh, it's an unimaginable situation, but they're trending in the right direction. There's crashes. Um, Kyle's told me about a crash since I've been there to visit and, um, all those things.

And so I just want to give you the update that I told Diana that we—that support on Patreon at patreon.com/physicsgirl—her job is to get better, and we want them to focus on that. It's not about videos. She can do away with any anxiety associated with that because this is not transactional.

We just love Diana, and that's what we're doing right now. So anyway, I just wanted to give you that update. One more thing—I made a specific goal to not go out there and take any or anything of us.

But as I left, and I'm leaving and I’m, uh, hugging Kyle and walking out the door, Diana sent a text to Kyle and said, "Stop! We have to take a selfie together!" So I went back in the room and, uh, Diana made us take a selfie, and it was fun!

So anyway, that's it! Love all of you! Diana sends her love to all of you as well! Hyper impressed with Kyle, and, uh, I'm encouraged, and I want you to be encouraged too. So anyway, the thing you can do if you want to support them right now is support on Patreon, and there'll be a link down in the video description.

I'm assuming Levi will edit this up and get it to a way that you can see the link and go support them there. That's it! I'm Destin, and this is Diana's channel, Physics Girl. Good news! Have a good one! Bye!