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NERD WARS: Iron Man vs Master Chief: Who Would Win? -- Wackygamer


3m read
·Nov 10, 2024

Iron Man vs. Master Chief special request from I heat voices 94. If you have your own requests, stick them in the comments. Iron Man hands down the winner. You, Rosalie, your Master Chief? AHA!

Is part of an army. Iron Man works all by himself. Master Chief has some guns. Iron Man has like 90 different suits, all specialized. Master Chief pulls triggers. Iron Man makes the technology that makes the weapons.

We're two words: the Flood. Two words: Scroll Invasion. Scroll Visions—nothing compared to the Flood. Nobody could stop the Flood except for Master Chief. No man in a frickin' suit over technology that he would have to sit in a lab for nine months to devote all the time to. Master Chief has to do is come over to Iron Man on an off day. BAM! Dead. Done.

You know well the discussion. Master Chief's a badass. Master Chief has never made a bad product, and there have been terrible Iron Man comic books. Mastered the Halo novels are awesome, you know they're not. You can't even talk with a straight face. I can't even say it with a straight face.

To summarize, Iron Man has the advantage in technology, intelligence, and the number of battles he's been in. Master Chief has the advantage of the future, the Flood, fighting the Covenant, and not ever not being Master Chief. Your points don't even... they're not even points!

Yes, they are! What? Tony Stark could not kill a Covenant! This is just stupid! This is stupid! He couldn't handle the Flood, he'd get overwhelmed.

You know here are the reasons I like Superman more: cape, kryptonite, Smallville. That's what you just did. Things genius, these are trashy! These are attributes that would make him win in the fight, unflappable.

You put the two of them in a cage match, no weapons, Master Chief's gonna walk out there the winner. Iron Man has multiple different types of armor. He'd wear his Hulk armor, the armor that he uses to fight the Hulk hand-to-hand combat style, and he would crush Master Chief like he was nothing.

Okay, no technology, no dogs out of their suits, Master Chief would win. So now it's just the Jimmy? Nobody? Now, again, Chief? Because that's not his name! That's not a name! Nobody names a kid Master Chief! That was his birth name! It's on the first ticket!

I will go get it because I have a copy of the collector's edition copy of his! You go get that, and I will wipe my butt with that, all right? Because it's not real! Unlike Tony Stark, a real man! A man for tomorrow!

He likes him because he wants to sleep with him! Mmm, that's not true. Here’s nothing! Tony Stark, drunk half the time, still kills everybody!

So you're siding with Tony Stark because he's an alcoholic? Okay, and he'll—

I win! I don't! You die when you don't have a single Master Chief! Not an alcoholic! Tony Stark? Alcoholic! Ding! Master Chief!

You know the sad thing is that you do the editing for this, so I know at the end of this it's gonna just pop up, "Oh, Master Chief wins!" Like, right—right there! It's right there! I knew you'd do it, Jeff! Why did you do that? Oh! Ah!

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