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Quit Seeking APPROVAL Like a Loser (Stoic SELF-RESPECT) | STOICISM


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·Nov 4, 2024

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How often have you felt like you were going through the motions, living your life based on the expectations of others, like you're an actor continuously seeking approval and validation from an invisible audience? If so, you're not alone. Like you, millions of us are locked in this terrible cycle of people-pleasing, sacrificing our genuine selves to fit in.

But what if I told you there's a way out? A timeless philosophy that will release you from this soul-sucking need for approval. Stay tight, because in this video, we will examine the ancient wisdom of Stoicism, as taught by the renowned Marcus Aurelius, and discover how to develop inner peace.

Discover the first secret: What did Aurelius say about self-validation? Our first stop on this journey of self-discovery takes us back to ancient Rome, where Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher king, left us with profound insights into the human condition. One of his most stunning observations that never ceases to amaze me is this: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.

Think about that for a second. We claim to love and cherish ourselves, yet we continuously seek approval from others. It's a conundrum that haunts modern culture, fueled by social media, likes, work performance reports, and even praise from strangers. But Aurelius saw through this veneer. He knew that true self-worth came from within, not from outward approval. He remarked in his famous Meditations, "Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."

To create self-respect, you need to modify your perspective. Stop seeking acceptance from others and start validating yourself. Appreciate your skills, qualities, and successes without seeking anyone else's favor. Have faith in yourself and your abilities, and let your self-confidence shine.

Unveiling the second secret: How to embrace isolation. According to Aurelius, I know what you're thinking: "Won't that make me a self-absorbed jerk if I only care about my own opinion?" Not at all. The power of isolation and self-reflection was Aurelius’s second secret. He recommended taking time away from the world's noise and distractions to connect with your authentic self.

In our current hyper-connected society, this thought could seem nearly radical. We're constantly bombarded with messages, commercials, and the highlight reels of others' lives. It's easy to get lost in the crowd and forget who you are. But Aurelius realized that solitude is where we might find clarity and self-knowledge. He wrote, "Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul."

So, try this exercise: Set aside 10 to 15 minutes daily to be completely alone with your thoughts. No phones, no screens—just you and your thoughts. Use this time to reflect on your values, aspirations, and the person you want to become. Embrace the stillness and let your genuine self emerge.

The final secret was revealed: Why Aurelius believed in controlling desires. Alright, you're probably thinking this all sounds great, but how do I actually stop needing acceptance from others? That takes us to the next secret from Marcus Aurelius: managing your desires.

Now, before you roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, easier said than done," hear me out. Aurelius realized that our aspirations, especially those anchored in external affirmation, often cause us pain. When we constantly desire acceptance, compliments, or plaudits, we set ourselves up for disappointment and discontent.

But Aurelius offers a potent antidote. He writes, "If you seek tranquility, do less." In other words, cut back on your aspirations for approval and focus on finding fulfillment within yourself. Let's put this into practice with a modern example: Say you're an ardent social media user who obsesses over every like and comment on your postings.

Instead of attaching your self-worth to those external validations, publish to share your experiences, thoughts, or creativity without any expectations. It could seem uncomfortable initially, but as you practice detaching from the desire for acceptance, you'll find a sense of inner serenity and confidence that no amount of likes...

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