yego.me
💡 Stop wasting time. Read Youtube instead of watch. Download Chrome Extension

Quit Seeking APPROVAL Like a Loser (Stoic SELF-RESPECT) | STOICISM


3m read
·Nov 4, 2024

Processing might take a few minutes. Refresh later.

How often have you felt like you were going through the motions, living your life based on the expectations of others, like you're an actor continuously seeking approval and validation from an invisible audience? If so, you're not alone. Like you, millions of us are locked in this terrible cycle of people-pleasing, sacrificing our genuine selves to fit in.

But what if I told you there's a way out? A timeless philosophy that will release you from this soul-sucking need for approval. Stay tight, because in this video, we will examine the ancient wisdom of Stoicism, as taught by the renowned Marcus Aurelius, and discover how to develop inner peace.

Discover the first secret: What did Aurelius say about self-validation? Our first stop on this journey of self-discovery takes us back to ancient Rome, where Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher king, left us with profound insights into the human condition. One of his most stunning observations that never ceases to amaze me is this: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.

Think about that for a second. We claim to love and cherish ourselves, yet we continuously seek approval from others. It's a conundrum that haunts modern culture, fueled by social media, likes, work performance reports, and even praise from strangers. But Aurelius saw through this veneer. He knew that true self-worth came from within, not from outward approval. He remarked in his famous Meditations, "Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."

To create self-respect, you need to modify your perspective. Stop seeking acceptance from others and start validating yourself. Appreciate your skills, qualities, and successes without seeking anyone else's favor. Have faith in yourself and your abilities, and let your self-confidence shine.

Unveiling the second secret: How to embrace isolation. According to Aurelius, I know what you're thinking: "Won't that make me a self-absorbed jerk if I only care about my own opinion?" Not at all. The power of isolation and self-reflection was Aurelius’s second secret. He recommended taking time away from the world's noise and distractions to connect with your authentic self.

In our current hyper-connected society, this thought could seem nearly radical. We're constantly bombarded with messages, commercials, and the highlight reels of others' lives. It's easy to get lost in the crowd and forget who you are. But Aurelius realized that solitude is where we might find clarity and self-knowledge. He wrote, "Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul."

So, try this exercise: Set aside 10 to 15 minutes daily to be completely alone with your thoughts. No phones, no screens—just you and your thoughts. Use this time to reflect on your values, aspirations, and the person you want to become. Embrace the stillness and let your genuine self emerge.

The final secret was revealed: Why Aurelius believed in controlling desires. Alright, you're probably thinking this all sounds great, but how do I actually stop needing acceptance from others? That takes us to the next secret from Marcus Aurelius: managing your desires.

Now, before you roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, easier said than done," hear me out. Aurelius realized that our aspirations, especially those anchored in external affirmation, often cause us pain. When we constantly desire acceptance, compliments, or plaudits, we set ourselves up for disappointment and discontent.

But Aurelius offers a potent antidote. He writes, "If you seek tranquility, do less." In other words, cut back on your aspirations for approval and focus on finding fulfillment within yourself. Let's put this into practice with a modern example: Say you're an ardent social media user who obsesses over every like and comment on your postings.

Instead of attaching your self-worth to those external validations, publish to share your experiences, thoughts, or creativity without any expectations. It could seem uncomfortable initially, but as you practice detaching from the desire for acceptance, you'll find a sense of inner serenity and confidence that no amount of likes...

More Articles

View All
Passive Income 2019: How I now earn $7930 per month passively
What’s up you guys? It’s Graham here. So, I think this video topic has become somewhat of an annual tradition because, on March 3rd, 2017, I posted a video explaining how I was making three thousand nine hundred and fifty dollars per month in passive inco…
Work at a Startup Expo 2019
So thank you so much. Quick round of applause for making it out here for all these companies that we’re going to be having a walk across here. It’s two o’clock, we want to keep it on time because we have a lot of great stuff to get through. So this is wh…
5 things you probably need to hear
Here are five things you probably need to hear. Number one: Not everything that happens to you is your fault, but everything that happens to you is your responsibility. Right off the bat, you might think to yourself, “Everything is my responsibility.” Ho…
Why Lionfish Should Be Your Favorite Fish to Eat | Nat Geo Live
When I was 17, I was diving off the coast of South Florida and I saw the most beautiful fish I had ever seen. It had these bold stripes and these big dramatic spines. And I had no idea what it was. So I went to the dive master and he told me I had just se…
Top Markets To Look Out For In 2022 | Kevin O'Leary's 2022 Resolutions
You know, it’s that time of the year! Brand new year, lots of hope and excitement, but always the time of year to reflect on what’s just passed and also set up some resolutions. What’s wrong with that? Now for me, let me tell you what I’m doing. Number o…
Why Are Things Cute?
Hey, Vsauce. Michael here. And The Pet Collective offers 24-hour coverage of puppies and kittens. It’s really cute. But what is cute, scientifically? I mean, why do we like soft, cuddly things and why do cute things have a unique effect on us? Well, the …